Alex laid on his couch. Bored. I’m bored. I’m so very bored. He picked a newspaper off the floor and looked through it. Nothing’s going on locally but then again nothing really happens in this town.
Alex spotted an article about a community center opening. Reaching back, he grabbed a pen off a small table behind him and then drew a mustache on the picture of the mayor that was in the article. How do you like that, Mr. Mayor? You said that you would keep that school open, so I voted for you, but you close it down anyway. You know what they say, liar liar . . . your mustache’s on fire . . . or something like that.
Alex continued to draw on the newspaper. He made stars and little birds then moved on to cartoon explosions. As he worked on them, he made a line that went down into another article.
Alex looked at the article and stopped drawing. That’s weird. The line that he drew separated the letters of some of the words. As he looked at the letters on one side, they seemed to form words of their own.
Go to . . . Happy . . . Cow, read Alex. It’s the first letter of every paragraph. He looked up at the title of the article. New Ordinance Seeks to Limit Water Waste. By Reggie Lawrence.
Alex sat up. What is this? Some sort of . . . promotion. He stared at the paper for a moment then tore off a piece of another page. He went back to the article and scanned the words writing down the letters on the paper he tore out.
After a few minutes, he read what he wrote. Go to Happy Cow tomorrow at 2. Bring product.
Alex sat there for a minute. Strange sort of promotion. Especially since they made it so hard to find. After sitting around for a few more seconds he got and went over to his computer.
“I can assure you, Sir,” said a woman at the paper’s headquarters. “There is no such promotion.”
“But it clearly saids here that you want your readers to go to “Happy Cow”,” said Alex. “You connect the first letter of each paragraph and there it is.”
“Sir, we don’t put hidden messages in our articles,” said the young woman. “You’re seeing something that’s not there.”
“No, it’s there alright,” said Alex. “I saw it myself. If you just connect the letters . . .”
“OK, here’s what I’m going to do,” said the woman. “I’ll talk to the editor and if there’s anything to it, we’ll call you right back. Perhaps you should just take a break from reading the paper for now.”
“Yeah, sure,” said Alex tersely. She thinks I’m crazy. Just another person hearing commands from the TV.
Alex stared at the computer screen. After a few minutes he clicked away from the newspaper’s website where he looked up their phone number and opened the web browser. He typed Happy Cow and the name of the city that he lived in.
Alex spent a moment scrolling through the results when he spotted another news article. Business Closes Facility, read Alex. National company Happy Cow Industries closes down local meatpacking facility resulting in the loss of many jobs. City council to announce plan to combat unemployment. Alex leaned back. Maybe that’s where they want to meet.
Alex looked at the picture of the building that was on the screen. What if what that lady said was true, that there is no promotion? If that’s the case how did those letters make that message? Was it by chance? That’s seems farfetched but no more than secret messages in the newspaper. Maybe if I call the guy who wrote it, he can tell me something. This could all be a prank.
“I spent over an hour researching this Lawrence guy,” Alex said into his cell phone a few hours later. “There’s barely anything about him. Even at the paper’s website there’s no contact info, not even an email. I thought about calling them again, but I don’t want to get that woman.”
“You have spent a lot of time on this,” said June.
“Yeah, well it’s a mystery that’s got me going,” said Alex.
“Maybe that’s the point,” said June. “You haven’t had much to do since they cut your hours. You also haven’t been spending a lot of time with other people. I think I’m the last friend you have.”
“I have friends,” said Alex. “I just haven’t been spending a lot of time with them. It’s just that I . . .”
“You’ve been in a runt?”
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
“Could it be that your mind is making this up, so you’ll have something to do?
“Look, I’ve been over this article numerous types and it always saids the same thing. I’m not making this up. Look at it to and you’ll see.”
“I get my news over the internet.”
“Then print out the article,” said Alex.
“I’ll do it later. Even if there is a message we don’t know if it means anything. It could just be someone messing with the readers.”
“Why would someone go through the trouble. They would have to find words that begin with the right letters and make sense in the article.”
“I don’t know but still, don’t go chasing after this like it’s the holy grail.”
“I just want to know what this is about. Aren’t you a little curious?”
“Right now, I have more important things to worry about than some article about water regs. To add on making sure my family’s OK a friend of mine is chasing after something he thinks he spotted in code in the paper.”
“Look, I’ll just go down there and see if there is anything. If not then we’ll know the whoa thing is a hoax.”
“Just be careful. Even if there’s nothing to it there could be something dangerous there. It’s an abandoned building so there might be rusty nails or squatters.”
“I’ll be careful. Don’t worry about it.”
The next day, Alex was outside the meatpacking faculty. He looked around as he got out of his car. The building was boarded up and shut down like the rest of the neighborhood.
Maybe this really is nothing. Alex went up to the door and tried to open it. It was locked.
Alex backed away and looked around. There did not seem to be anyone in the area. He grabbed one of the boards nailed over a window and pulled but it would not move. He then pressed his ear against it, but he could not hear anyone inside.
Alex went over to the side of the building and walked down an alley noticing the graffiti on the walls. What am I doing? Am I really working this hard to prove that someone is sending secret messages in the news?
Suddenly he found a door in the back which was also boarded up. After pulling on the board, he looked around. He found a pile of garbage in the corner of the alley. He carefully went through it and found the remains of a radio antenna.
Alex put the end of the antenna between the board and the door and pulled. After using all of his strength there was a cracking sound, and the board broke. Alex stumbled back and then he tore the rest of the board off the building.
Alex opened the door and went in.
The inside of the building was very dark. Alex took out his phone and used the light from it to get around. His foot bumped into something, and the light revealed it was a bucket.
Alex made his way down a hallway. He looked around and spotted a door to his right. He peeked into the room and saw that it was empty. He tired the room next to it and saw a door on the other side of it. Alex walked through the room looking at some overhead pipes as he went.
Alex went through the door and found himself in another dark hallway. He looked around nervously as he walked. Suddenly there was a sound and Alex jumped into the air. He immediately turned his light towards the direction the sound came from but there was nothing there.
Alex was breathing heavily, and he continued to look around. While his mind conjured images of terrifying monsters coming after him, he could not see anything else in the hall.
After a minute, Alex turned around and continued walking.
Alex came to a large room. In the corner hung a chain with a hook on the end. Dark stains covered the walls. Alex started to reach out towards them but stopped himself.
There was another door and Alex started to open it. Halfway in the turn the knob stopped. Alex jiggled it a little and tried to open the door again. After a lot of effort, the door came open.
Alex walked into a large room. Is this even worth it?
“Hey you,” cried a voice startling Alex. He turned to see a man standing by a boarded-up window.
Alex went up to the man. “I’ve been waiting here for you all day,” said the man angrily.
“Sorry, but you did say to come at 2,” said Alex.
“Yeah yeah. Do you have the money?”
“What money?”
“The money for the goods,” answered the man getting angrier.
Alex looked around. “What goods?”
The man came up to Alex. “You won’t see them until I see the money!”
Alex held up his hands. “There’s been some sort of mistake. All I wanted was to find out what this was about.”
“What are talking about?” demanded the man. He held up a fist to Alex’s face. “If I don’t see the money in the next ten seconds then something bad will happen!”
“I . . . have it in my car,” said Alex. “Just let me go get it!”
The man came up to Alex and their faces were inches apart. “You’re not planning on bolting are you?” asked the man.
“Why would I do that?” asked Alex. “If I do that then I won’t get the goods.”
After a moment the man nodded. “OK, go get the money.”
Alex backed away. After a couple of steps, he turned around and headed towards the door. Suddenly four men came into the room. One led the way while the other three were pulling a large box on a pushcart.
“Who this?” asked the man in front.
“Who are you,” demanded the man Alex met.
“I’m Hitop,” answered the leader. “We texted. You’re Booker, right?”
“If you’re him then who’s this?” asked Booker pointing to Alex.
“I don’t know,” said Hitop. “He’s not with you?”
“I thought he was you,” answered Booker.
Hitop shot Alex a dirty look. “Are you trying to muscle in on my deal!?” The men behind him balled their fists.
Alex frantically looked around. “Look . . . I just . . . saw the message in the paper and I wanted to know what it was about.”
“Did Lawrence send you?” asked Booker. “I knew we shouldn’t have trusted him.”
“He wouldn’t squeal,” said Hitop. “He likes the money too much.”
Booker turned to Alex. “Who are you!?”
Alex looked around at the men coming towards him. “Look, . . . it’s obvious that I came here by mistake. How about I just go?”
“Nah,” said Hitop grabbing Alex by the shirt. “I’d rather you stay, and we make sure that you don’t tell anyone about what we’re doing.”
“But I don’t know what you’re doing so there’s no problem,” said Alex.
“Let’s make sure of it,” said Hitop shoving Alex back. Hitop then gestured to his men and one of them gave him a crowbar. “I find that a good bonk on the head can keep people quiet.”
Alex backed away as Hitop came towards him. “You don’t want to do this,” said Alex.
“Oh, I do,” said Hitop. “Don’t worry. It’ll be quick.”
He swung the crowbar at Alex who ducked away.
“Hey,” cried Alex. He backed away but Booker grabbed him.
Hitop raised the crowbar again. Alex struggled with Booker, but he held on. Alex stomped on his foot causing the other man to let go of him.
Dodging the crowbar as he went, Alex ran around Hitop. He turned around as Hitop brought down the weapon again and he grabbed it. They struggled as Booker came up behind Alex. As he pulled on the crowbar Alex swung Hitop around and he collided with Booker.
Alex watched them fall to the ground and turned to the remaining men. He swung the crowbar through the air causing them to scatter.
After swinging a few times Alex struck the box that they had brought in. The end of crowbar punctured the wooden box which resulted in a thunderous sound. Confused, Alex pulled the crowbar out widening the hole he had made. Suddenly a monstrous mouth flashed into view. Alex yelled and stumbled back.
“Run for it,” said one of Hitop’s men as the tiger burst out of the box.
Everyone in the room shot towards the door as the tiger gave another roar and chased after them.
Alex darted pass two men as he ran through the room with the chain. He took his phone out of his pocket and tried to dial 911 but had trouble doing it as he ran.
Alex made it to the hallway. He ran past one man and willed himself to run even faster. Alex stumbled but kept going as he reached the end of the hall.
Alex left the building and slammed the door shut behind him. He took a nearby trashcan and shoved it against the door. They’ll be alright, right? There’s a lot of places to hide in there.
Alex took out his phone. “911, you better send animal control and tell them to bring a big net.”
Alex stood by a telephone pole and watched the flashing lights of all the police cars. An officer came up to him. “Everyone inside is alright,” said the officer. “They managed to shut one of those metal doors inside there and kept the tiger in a room.”
“What about the tiger now?” asked Alex.
“Animal control is tranquilizing it right now.”
Alex checked his phone. I think I missed a call from June.
“We collared that reporter and he spilled everything,” said the officer. “They were paying him to put those messages into his articles so that they can communicate without detection. They’re part of an animal smuggling ring. Thanks for the tip.”
“Oh, I’m just happy to help out,” said Alex trying not to let his annoyance show. Next time I hear about a secret meeting I’ll just call the police. This defiantly wasn’t worth it.
Alex arrived home. His phone rang. “Hey.”
“I heard something happen downtown,” said June. “Did you see anything? Are you alright?”
“Oh, I definitely saw something,” said Alex sitting on the couch.
“Wait, was it about that thing you read about. What happened there?”
“You can read all about tomorrow. As for me, I think I’ll take a break from the paper. The news can be so stressful.”
Figments of An Overactive Imagination 